There’s a moment when you realize: it’s all on you now.

The lightbulb goes out. The garage door sticks. The smoke detector won’t stop chirping. It used to be “his” list—the Honey-Do List. But now, you’re the one who has to figure it out. And if you’re like me, you might not have signed up to be your own handyman, plumber, and general contractor all at once.

This is one of the harder parts of widowhood that no one really talks about—not just managing the physical tasks of home maintenance, but carrying the mental load of it all, too. Sure, I can do these things. But I don’t want to. And the fact that now I have to—that there’s no one else here to hand it off to—is just another daily reminder that I’m doing this alone, without my soulmate.

If you’re a newly single homeowner in Pataskala or Licking County, you’re not alone. This post is for anyone feeling a bit overwhelmed, a little lost, or just plain tired of doing it all.

🧰 1. Make a Seasonal Maintenance Checklist (and Don’t Keep It in Your Head)

I started using a paper checklist for each season—because trying to remember it all is exhausting. Here are a few winter items I have on mine:

• Check and replace furnace filters

• Reverse ceiling fans for winter airflow

• Disconnect and drain outdoor hoses - don't forget the hose bib covers

• Add weatherstripping to drafty doors

• Replace the batteries in the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors

Pro Tip: If you’re in Pataskala, Ace Hardware and Tractor Supply on Broad Street are great spots to grab what you need without a huge store experience. Not to mention the knowledgeable staff that are always ready to help you pick precisely the right product.

🛠️ 2. Know Your Limits—and When to Call In Help

You don’t need to learn how to fix everything. And you certainly don’t have to do it all at once. I’ve learned to ask: is this a must-do, a nice-to-do, or a hire-it-out? Calling a handyman isn’t a failure—it’s smart. It preserves your energy. Luckily, I have a grandson nearby who is always ready to help.

Need a starting point? I’ve built a list of reliable local pros—from gutter cleaners to painters—who’ve taken great care of my clients and me.

📲 3. Use Your Phone as Your Home Binder

I use my Notes app to track:

• When I last changed filters and the filter size

• What lightbulbs my fixtures use

• Paint colors for each room

• Warranty expiration dates

• Vendor contact info

No more guessing in the hardware store aisle. It saves time and sanity.

👯‍♀️ 4. Create a Homeowner “Buddy System”

Ask a friend or neighbor if they want to team up on things like:

• Seasonal maintenance days

• Joint trips to the hardware store

• Sharing toolkits or ladders

• Referring trusted contractors

There’s something comforting about not being the only one Googling how to relight a pilot light.

🏠 5. Give Yourself Credit—This Is a Lot

Just keeping your home going is something to be proud of. I recently changed out a showerhead that had been on the to-do list for too long. I did it, and without a single tear! No, you may not hang the lights straight or fix the leaky sink on the first try. But you’re showing up. And every time you do, you’re building strength and confidence.

💬 Your Home, Your Way—Even If You’re Learning as You Go

As a Pataskala-based real estate agent who’s also figuring this all out in real-time, I get it. Homeownership can be overwhelming under the best of circumstances, let alone when you’re also navigating grief or major life transitions.

If you’re starting to feel like your home no longer fits your life, or if you’re ready to explore a move that’s easier to maintain, I’d be honored to help.

❤️ You’ve Got This—And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

If this season has shown me anything, it’s that we’re stronger than we think—and we deserve support, community, and spaces that support who we are now.

And if you need a referral, a checklist, or just someone to say, “I’ve been there”—I’m here.

With care,
Sheila Howell