There’s something about the holidays that makes the silence louder.

This is my first season navigating Christmas without my husband. The traditions we built together—the way he made hot chocolate for me (he was too health-conscious to enjoy it), where we sat in front of the fireplace with just the Christmas tree lit, how we always wrapped presents together—those moments now carry a different kind of weight.

If you’re also trying to find your footing after loss, or just learning how to spend the holidays differently than before, I want to offer this: you can still create joy, meaning, and connection—even if it looks nothing like it did in years past.

As a widow, a homeowner, and a realtor here in Pataskala, I’ve had to look at my own home through new eyes. And I’ve found comfort in small, intentional shifts—new traditions in a familiar space. Here are a few that have helped me, and may help you too.

🌟 1. Reclaim One Tradition—Your Way

You don’t have to do everything. But is there one tradition that brings you comfort?

For me, it was listening to Christmas carols every evening. This year, I created a custom playlist that doesn’t include the songs that have deep memories attached to them. This is my go-to playlist when I want to feel the holiday spirit—but not be reminded that Terry isn’t here with me.

I also have a separate playlist with the songs that I know will bring me to tears. That one is only for the moments when I really need to feel him near.

Different? Yes. But still comforting.

Choose one ritual—baking, wrapping gifts, sending cards—that still feels good, and let it evolve naturally.

🕯️ 2. Light a Candle of Remembrance

Whether it’s Christmas Eve, New Year’s Day, or just a quiet Sunday evening, lighting a candle for someone you’ve lost is a beautiful, grounding way to honor them. I’ve added one to my table this year—a silent nod to the love that’s still with me.

You could even create a small memory shelf or corner with photos or mementos, lit with soft lights or greenery.

👣 3. Shift the Scene—Even Slightly

Move the tree to a new spot. Decorate a different room. Use new wrapping paper. Changing the scenery just a bit can help your mind and heart adjust. You’re not erasing old memories—you’re simply creating space for new ones.

👪 4. Say “Yes” to Something Different

Maybe it’s attending a community event, volunteering, or saying yes to dinner at a neighbor’s house—even if you’re not quite in the mood. Sometimes healing hides in unexpected places.

Local Pataskala Idea: The Pataskala Lions Club and Foundation Park events often host holiday activities—check out a tree lighting or Christmas concert to feel some local joy.

🎄 5. Give Yourself Permission to Do Less

You don’t have to send the cards, bake the cookies, or hang every ornament. Give yourself grace. Grief and change don’t follow a calendar. If this year’s “tradition” is ordering takeout and watching Netflix with twinkle lights on, that’s okay.

🏡 Finding Home in the Changes

As a real estate agent serving Pataskala, Granville, and Licking County, I work with many people who are in seasons of transition. Sometimes it’s joyful—a new baby or new job—and sometimes it’s heavy, like loss or divorce.

No matter the reason, your home should reflect where you are now. That includes your traditions. Whether you’re looking to simplify your space, explore a move, or just want to know what’s possible in this next chapter—I’m here for that conversation.

💬 You Get to Create New Meaning—One Memory at a Time

This holiday season, don’t feel pressured to perform or pretend. Let yourself feel, rest, celebrate, and change in whatever ways feel right. You’re not erasing what was—you’re building what comes next.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

With warmth,
Sheila Howell